That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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