i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We're too hungover to prance.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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