The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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