Yo dont text me then not text me
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
