the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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