White coat. Heels.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
