So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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