She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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