Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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