I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i drank out of a bidet.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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