she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
that may or may not have been my penis.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
