I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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