please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?