I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
