I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
