he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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