ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I understand Curling. That high.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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