I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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