I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
