i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
