So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
