C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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