Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
