Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
