Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
