Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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