I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
