there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
