whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize