I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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