you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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