69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
