Are we in a gay sports bar?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
