He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
