i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
