just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize