Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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