On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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