hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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