marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
