His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Even my vagina gasped.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
