As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
