will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
