My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
