he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize