I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The adults are the big ones right?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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