Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
