I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Found the puke drawer
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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