is your mom at the bar?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
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We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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