It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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