at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize