office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
