just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
