it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
