Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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