doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize