OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
