I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
