woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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