For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
