You're my little dorito
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Randomize
