Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize