You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
