Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm both gender and math confused
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
