strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
