Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
