Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
