I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Farmville is her only friend.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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