...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just googled if crying burns calories
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
