wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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