I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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