i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
