it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
